I know you will understand

I always want to be with you.
Yet I am leaving you all alone.
I won’t tell you the reason.
But I know you will understand.

You are the one I always needed.
You are the only one I still need.
Yet I am leaving you all alone.
But I know you will understand.

Every time I will get a chance to choose,
I will always choose you.
Except for all the times I didn’t.
Because no one else will,
But I know you will understand.

I know you are hurt.
I know it makes your heart stutter.
But remember, I love you.
And the one I am punishing is me, not you.
I know you will understand.

That’s all she told me when she left.
That’s all I listen to every time.

What did I respond, you ask?
I just looked at her and smiled.
Words can make no difference,
if you are being told and not asked.

She feels I am laughing at the absurdity of everything she said.
But that’s not true.
It’s not a laugh but a smile.
You cry, shout and fight if you are hurt.
But when you are helpless, you smile.

Even though everything is absurd.
Even though I do not want to understand.
But, it’s okay, I understand :)